I've always wanted to be a rock star...

Any sort will do, as long as it isn't the sort of grandma panties that Bridget Jones is so fond of wearing. But I could never manage to convince anybody to do that for me.

So when the Straits Times announced the whole rock band competition, I was curious to know what these rocker wannabes knew about rock. Because it takes more than a drum set and a bass guitar to make a bead.

I went on a hunt for the elusive "School of Rock" Where could one learn to be Kurt Cobain, minus the overdosing? Or, for those more supportive of the "embrace the Chinese culture' thing promoted by the government, Beyond before the noose?

The suicide rate in rock bands seem awfully high, for a genre of music not exactly noted for depression. Well, to my disappointment, there isn't much anywhere one can learn to squawk at Bon Jovi, and pretend that it's music.

Well, excluding the karaoke places then. We're talking about new compositions. Still if you've got a dream of being on stage, with panties being thrown at you, you might wanna go throw some of your hard-earned money at these establishments below.

LEE Brothers School of Music. Opened by brothers Lee Wei Song and Lee Si Song, this music school is where they develop their protegees and others who just want to throw their money and time away.

The Lee Brothers are well known for their success with Chinese singer Stephanie Sun, who has a few rock-like tunes under her belt. You never know, you might be the next big thing. And I might marry into royalty tomorrow.

So it seems like there aren't a lot of places to learn how to be a rock star. Probably because the whole concept of rock isn't in Singapore yet; most people seem to think that rock music is just about being really loud and making a lot of strange sounds with the electronic guitar, which, from what I gather, is more or less what goes on with the Straits Times School of Rock competition. Noise pollution aside, rock music is truly about rebelling, the breaking away from conventions that was going on in the 70's and 80's.

Perhaps someday when Singapore is less uptight, there will be a School of Rock. Meanwhile, if there is an underground school, we encourage you to show yourself and see exactly how rebellious you are.

And I'm not talking about the taking your top off and burning your bra kind of rebellion. That's interesting, but in an entirely different way. It might be a little late, but let the rock rebellion take over Singapore, and perhaps revamp its uptight image with sex, drugs and rock music.