Letters to the Editor - Singapore #25

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Category: Letters to the Editor

Published on Friday, 17 October 2008 10:08

Written by the crack-smoking readers of Think

Hits: 1951

Letters answered by our least literate editor.

You Suck!

You have got to be THE dumbest people on earth. I've been reading your publication since your first volume and I've hated every issue. Last year's Reader's Choice Awards issue was a waste of paper and I pray every day you won't do another one. Joe Bodia is a brainless prick without the slightest shred of taste. Your editors, especially the music girl Laura Encarnado (is that even a real name?!), sucks with more enthusiasm than an Orchard Towers whore.

I'm amazed with each issue. Your column "Lush Life" (cute name by the way, losers) would be much better served if it simply didn't exist. I don't think I've found a useful thing in it since reading the damn thing when you idiots introduced it. Volume 3, Issue 21 for example: You list Shanghai as a great place to party as well as salsa at Sentosa as well as World Battle of the Bands as cool things to check out.

Who finds and decides on these things? Don't bother answering; it's a rhetorical question. We all know it's some blind inbred, randomly pulling press releases out of a big trashcan. I was impressed with your restaurant review article in that same issue with the header tag of "energy drinks". Broth, a place where I wouldn't even buy my dog dinner. Or how about the article on the history of the hamburger?

Now that's a f*king great idea! I wish I thought of that. Then I'd be almost as retarded as you guys. Your editorial direction makes no sense, your columns suck and your design looks like you taught a monkey how to press CTRL + ALT and bang on a computer with a PVC pipe. And then there's Benet, a.k.a. the worst Editor-in-Crap in the history of ink. I'm going to send you a nice straight-edge razor Jeff, for your readers, please, do the right thing. - Sincerely, Paul Vessa

Dear Paul, Thank you for the letter of encouragement. It's people like you that inspire us. We've clearly supplied you with years of material to hate. Frankly, like all God's creatures, we love you. And we want to help you. Please come to one of our court-ordered support groups for the truly jaded. You don't have to speak - your satay-stained tank top will say it all. By the way, Paul, we still have your writing samples and resume on file, so we know where you live... We'll send puppies.

To the editors,

Oh, now this is great. Last issue, you had an advertisement for the Miss SIngapore Chinatown directly across from your review of Miss Earth Singapore. Come on, how blatantly can you whore your editorial out for ad dollars? - Ed Poh, Simei

That's a good question. A lot? I don't know. We can't really help it if organisers offer us up pretty girls in bikinis AND money (by the way, the two events are organised by completely different people). Cash and sexy superstars are the building blocks of the future. But we'll give you your money back if you really want. Oh, that's right. This magazine is FREE!

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Hello Think,

Since the first time I picked up your monthly, I have been thoroughly impressed from the covers and the title itself to the contents that I found inside. It was truly a refreshing magazine to flip through and read given all the other fortnightlies, monthlies and even dailies for that matter that seem to deal with such mindless and at times unnecessary matters. I must say your editorials have always been amusing and the fact that you were probably the only locally circulated publication to critically look at the IMF summit couple of months back says a great deal. As for myself, I am a recent NUS graduate, who is now bonded to Singapore for a good minimum of three years.

Having been exposed to the world of publishing and publications from early on in my life, I have now come to understand the grasp it got of me only recently, when I found myself outside the protective shell of being a student. After long and tedious considerations as to where and what I should strive towards at least for the years that I am going to have to be here, there seems to have been only but one answer and that was in print media. Having come to this decision then, I have not looked back and I have decided where else to start other than at Think. So this is it. This is my first step into what will hopefully be a long journey. I know this is most likely a very long shot for me but it is an attempt nonetheless. Attached is my resume. Please contact me via email or telephone if need be. - Sincerely, Maxim Shrestha

Thanks for such a heartfelt letter. It's a nice counterbalance to the previous whiners. We'll be calling you in a day or so with an assignment! Peace out.