Mr Montgomery Burns

Think: Well, Mr. Burns, I must say that this is quite an honor. I always thought you were simply a fictitious cartoon character.

Mr. Burns: Silence!! I’m not paying you to think!!

Think: Sir, you’re not paying me at all.

Mr. Burns: Excellent… all profit. Now get back to work, post haste!

Think: Umm… yeah. So what’s the big business deal that brings you to Singapore? Were you in on Dr Khan’s purchase of enriched uranium for Pakistan?

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Mr. Burns: Heavens no, that was the French. I haven’t done anything with them since I called one of their leaders short. Gave him a bit of a complex I’m afraid. I’m here to look into that New Water plant the colony’s got up and running. Buying that would really sting the British.

Think: Umm, sir? Singapore hasn’t been a British colony since the second World War.

Mr. Burns: Ah yes… nasty business that.

Think: What’s wrong with plants in the states? Why buy one so far from home?

Mr. Burns: Americans have gotten too sensitive, what with all those hippie politicians and whale-movies. It’s always “contamination this” and “deadly leakage that”, or “save the one-toed panda”! A few children with more than one head and you’re up to your armpits in litigation, and that idiot president I hired is hardly getting anything done. The Chinese have that “devil may care” attitude I look for in nuclear regulatory commissions.

Think: How are the negotiations going?

Mr. Burns: Slow. They keep pushing this package deal which includes a few tankers and some island state called Sentosa.

Think: So no time for love, Mr. Burns?

Smithers: Umm sir?

Mr.Burns: What is it Smithers?

Smithers: I’m afraid your date was…ummm… struck by lightning.

Mr. Burns: Again? That’s twice this week! Well, that will show those nay-sayers, eh? Never strikes twice eh, what?

Think: Umm, Mr. Burns? Lightning storms are rare to this part of the island, and there hasn’t been one for over a month.

Mr. Burns: Meaning?

Think: Forget it… Mr. Burns, almost every environmental organization and NGO in the world agrees that you alone are responsible for the extinction of over 150,000 different types of flora and faunae, including the dinosaurs. How do you answer these allegations?

Mr. Burns: Smithers?

Smithers: Yes sir?

Mr. Burns: Release the hounds.