That’s utterly accurate. Trust me, food brings out the truth in people. You can tell how good he is in the bedroom by the way he slurps his noodles or devours his steak. Now, now, I’m not claiming to be an expert here. It’s just my personal musing. I believe in food. But do I believe in men? Hmmm… let’s leave that for another time.Speaking of which, did I tell you how much I loved house parties?
Those are the best ways to meet the cutest of guys amidst munching on sandwiches and sipping fruit punch. Cecilia, my best mate, couldn’t agree more. After all, it was at her house party where we met Ronald and Donald. Before you start cracking up in hilarious laughter, hold it. There’s an explanation to their ‘out of the ordinary’ namesakes. Truth is, both of them are twins. Dare I say, their parents didn’t do them justice by naming after the two goldfish they had when they were younger.
The twins more than made up for their ‘interesting’ names with their gorgeous bods and oh so chiseled features. Cecilia preferred Ronald, while I, Donald. Don’t ask me why. To heck with the name, he was such a dish that I couldn’t take my eyes off him even for a split second. And I guess I had the same effect on him too! Throughout the entire party, he was doing a complete face analysis of me whilst chatting about some philosophical stuff.
Don’t look bewildered; Donald’s a Masters student at one of the local universities. His mum is a Singaporean, but his dad’s half French and half Italian. Thus his amazing features! But the cutest thing was the way he behaved. He had no fake accent for starters, which was rather refreshing. Did I tell you how bored I was of local men trying to sound as if they were born and bred in some upstate county off the coast of I don’t know what and I don’t know where in the US of A? Any how, Donald’s different. He’s simply one of a kind. I was literally memerised with him. For once, a man who makes such good conversation that I ended up actually listening to him because I wanted to and not because I had to.
So while Cecilia was busy with Ronald, I was simply engaged by Donald’s presence. And oh, I do think Donald is the much cuter twin. They’re fraternal twins so that means there’s no chance of them switching places to trick us or us switching places once in a while to get the best of both worlds. Hmmm… though, that could be fun, come to think of it. But anyways, too much of a good thing can be a bad thing sometimes. So boy was I glad Donald wasn’t someone else’s carbon copy.
At the end of the party, Donald asked me if I would like to have lunch with him someday. That caught me by surprise at first, because most men I’ve dated usually invite me for dinner. I suppose that’s due to the course of action. Eat, drink, be merry, have dessert, have more dessert, and then some. Being the adventurous bunny I was, I said okay.
Oh please, did you ever think I would give up an opportunity to have a meal with Mr. Hot Bod with brains? No way!
So, dear ‘ol Donald called me up the next day (yes, he’s quick) and asked me if I’ve tried hawker food. Authentic local hawker food. I was stumped. My jaws nearly dropped. I mean, no offence, but I’ve heard horror stories about those sweaty crowded places where people queue for hours on end just for a bowl of porridge or nasi lemak! No way was he going to put me through that sort of torture, I thought.
But in a bid to score brownie points, I told him that no, I’ve not tried hawker food, but have heard so much about how delicious it tastes, and went on to mention how I would love to taste some. Hey come on, I wasn’t lying, I just had to give him more of a reason to have lunch with me. Don’t want to disappoint the sweet guy anyways.
Donald seemed rather happy at my enthusiasm and asked me not to worry about eating hawker food. He said that the place he was bringing me to was an exception from the rest. Well, he sounded so convincing that I just had to believe him. And boy was I glad I chose to believe him…
A fine spread at the Cafe Plaza
My dashing hot bod-boy came to pick me up in a cool bright red convertible which looked like it belonged in the movie The Fast and the Furious (which happens to be one of my favourite all time movies!). My worries about being brought to some dark and dingy hawker stall soon disappeared as he drove us to the Cafe Plaza at the Plaza Parkroyal Hotel down on Beach Road.
It was then that I realized that he meant that we were going to eat hawker style food, but in air conditioned comfort and not some oil laden hot place in some HDB neighbourhood! Thank God for Donald. It turned out to be a lunch buffet spread that included some of the best authentic local food road-side hawkers used to sell along Beach Road back in those good ‘ol days. Apparently, he totally digs local food. I found that amusing at first but thought it was rather oh so adorable.
I was spoiled for choice at the buffet. There were simply too many dishes that looked as appetizing as the other. And oh boy was the aroma making me hungry. I decided to have a go at the softshell crabs and satay. The softshell crabs were crisp and wonderfully yummy – went perfect with the mayonnaise provided. Let me tell you something about the satay.
I’ve heard all about the oily peanut sauce usually served with it, but this place offered an alternative sauce made out of pineapple, which was rather refreshing, I should say. I was so entranced by the food that I hadn’t realised the huge pile on Donald’s plate.
Yes, he’d taken the liberty of stacking so much food on his huge plate that it looked like the ‘mountain’ was going to topple any time soon. I was utterly embarrassed but decided to just pretend nothing had happened. I helped him clear his ‘mountain’ by trying the durian rotiprata and sashimi he had taken. Truth be told, I’ve never really liked rotiprata.
Always preferred waffles but may I say that these durian rotipratas really pleased my tastebuds. It was kind of my first time trying durians, and surprisingly, I didn’t feel like puking at all. So much for the big hoo-ha made by some of my other expat friends.
The salmon sashimi was so tender and fresh that I ‘stole’ more than five pieces off Donald’s plate. I bet he didn’t even notice. That glutton was busy with his bowl of Cantonese porridge with these weird looking things in it. He caught me looking and offered me some. I took a mouthful and started to gag. It was pig’s innards in the porridge. Sorry to say, but I’m not a fan of intestines and what not, so dare I say, I was relatively appalled!
Luckily there were desserts available, I immediately went to get some mango pudding and mango cake. There also was this sticky red thing that looked nice and I tried it. Known as ang ku kueh to the locals, this sweet treat is usually stuffed with peanut, red bean or green beans. I heard it’s a popular Chinese dessert.
By the time I was over with dessert, and ever so ready to leave (with a stuffed stomach), Donald suddenly stood up and asked if we could take away the leftovers. At that point in the date, I decided I’d had enough. I could tolerate gluttony and pigs intestines, but this?! No way.
I think the locals call this kiasuism, which translates to being scared to lose. I don’t think he had anything to lose, but I guess he certainly wants to gain a few pounds. I gave him one of my disappointed looks and stomped out of the hotel as fast as you can say buffet. This proves my point of food being a necessary evil; and I stick by that.
– Cafe Plaza, Plaza Parkroyal Hotel, 7500A Beach Road, Buffet available on Saturdays from 11:30am-4pm, +65 6290-8218