What the heck, I’m really not good at keeping secrets so I might just spill the beans now. It all began when Chelsea, my childhood friend came into town a couple of months back. Apparently, my mum called her up because of my habit of dating men but NOT marrying them. Mum thinks that I’ll end up a spinster just like Aunt Denise.

Oh what can I say, mothers always think they know best. So anyway, Chelsea came and she asked me to take a break, to go find myself. Hmmm, apparently I was lost and couldn’t make up my mind. Come on, it wouldn’t have to be this way if all the men I’ve dated weren’t pathetic losers.

However, Chelsea thought otherwise. She insists that my standards are way too high. To prove her wrong, I decided to have her join me on a date. To spice things up, I chose Hassan, an Indonesian businessman who loves to eat and eats like Speedy Gonzales. You’ll understand what I mean later on.

We arranged to meet at Warung M. Nasir, a cosy little eatery along Killiney Road that sells really good Indonesian food. Hassan is a friend of a friend who apart from eating, loves to look at ladies’ bosoms. I know, I must be out of my mind, but I had to do this, to get Chelsea off my back about men and marriage.

The three of us met at the eatery and ordered a few dishes from the counter. You get a lovely view of all the dishes offered because it’s very much a Nasi Padang place – everything is all cooked and lay behind glass panels. Anyway Hassan did most of the ordering so Chelsea and I didn’t do much except sit and wait. The dishes came one by one, and they all looked really good.

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There was beef rendang, chicken rendang, tahu telor, sayur lodeh, spinach, spicy potato wedges, and a plate of black stuff which looked rather unappealing. I immediately quizzed Hassan about the black stuff and he happily replied, ‘Ox tongue’.

Chelsea almost fell off her chair when she heard that. Chelsea hates weird animal parts and can’t stand them. She shrieked and demanded that the plate of black stuff be put as far from her as possible. Throughout the entire meal, Chelsea couldn’t stop looking at Hassan with disgust as he wiped up all of the tongue and the rest of the food.

You see, Hassan’s a fast eater; he eats like there’s no tomorrow. It wasn’t a surprise, especially since the food was delicious. I kind of fancied the potato wedges most. They were cooked with dried shrimp and sambal. The beef rendang was fantastic too.

Hassan was so distracted by the food that he completely ignored the fact that the two of us ladies were there – which surprised me. I guess when you have good food, bosoms don’t matter much eh? But that sight of him wolfing down every single morsel was enough to put Chelsea off. After the meal, Chelsea pretended she had a meeting and rushed off, leaving me behind. Later, I received a text message from her which said, “Now I know why you’re still not married. Good for you. You should have your Mum dine with Hassan, that’ll probably make her change her mind about wanting you to get married”.

I’m glad Chelsea finally understood. As for me, I was so repulsed by the entire incident that I took Chelsea’s advice and left the country, to find myself, thus the long absence. I thought, what the heck, if I can’t find any decent men, I might as well go search for something else that’s worth my time. After all, I’m worth it.


– Warung M. Nasir 68 Kiliney Road, Tel: +65 6734-6228