Please don’t misunderstand, I’m all for romance and lovey-dovey talk, but there has to be a line drawn somewhere. Nothing irks me more than a string of words used by millions all over the world, probably every minute and every second. Come on, where’s the sense of originality? What happened to good ol’ self-composed poems that aren’t too overtly mushy and yet sweet. Wait, that might sound like an oxy-moron, but I do mean to say that some times, it’ll help if lovers use less cliched phrases and refrain from being a that much of a robot.

Okay, I figured you’d think I’m too harsh or there’s something wrong with me. No, honestly, I’m fine, it’s just that I was probably born with a flair for language and I just can’t tolerate those who mangle and spoil the English language. And that includes people that are more than friends. My boyfriend included.

Yep, I won’t deny it. J’s been really sweet and all but if there was one thing I wish I could change, it’ll be his sad, pathetic, choice of words. It seems as though it takes an entire brain mass to come up with an original romantic phrase. I don’t like sweet-talkers but I do appreciate those who show that they’ve actually put some thought into their words of affection.

J looked like a dude who knows how to say the right things at the right time and most of the time he does. BUT… the problem is it’s just too cliche for me. I am fussy, yes I know, but hey, I have my reasons! I get goose-bumps when I hear something so corny and cliche. What happened to creativity? Isn’t the government here trying to encourage people to think out of the box? So where’s the creative juice flowing? All I see is boxed up comments that just make me roll my eyes.

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Don’t believe me? Then wait till you hear the things J said when we were walking around, looking for a place to have lunch one fine Saturday afternoon. It got so bad that I thought he had a fever or something. Being the sweet chap J was, he pulled me into a corner as I got out of the ladies and started to look into my eyes and he held my hand. A rose appeared out of nowhere and he started to tell me how much I’ve changed his life and that he’s been so much better since he met me and that I was his soul mate and we were meant to breathe the same air and so on.

Now, would you get freaked out if you were me? Honestly?

Care to guess what I did next? I didn’t want to be mean so I changed the subject and suggested we just grabbed a baguette sandwich from this Viet-inspired deli called Baguette at Raffles City Shopping Centre where we were. I read about it in the papers and was enticed by the picture of the yummy looking baguette. I ordered a Saigon baguette and he had the same (see, where’s the originality?).

Desperate to avoid making conversation with him, I quickly tucked into my tasty sandwich. Thank god it was good. There was a slight crunch to it because of the cucumbers and carrots and the ham added a kick to the sandwich. Plus the pate and special sauce used. It certainly was delicious. I was glad I tried it. J was also so mesmerised with the sandwich that he shut-up for a while. That was good news.

It was then, that I realised I was probably better off with a damn good sandwich than a guy who thinks he can make a lady swoon by being cliched. At least this sandwich was original! It’s sort of a French/Viet fusion which was married off so well that I would happily say that it’s one union I hope will last forever. Just too bad that can’t be said about mine. My guy wasn’t any better than a sandwich. The person I thought I could actually have fun with turned out to be one normal clone who is just is too lazy to be original.

Go ahead, call me a nasty bitch but seriously, cliches unnerve me so don’t hold it against me. I live for originality, even in the guys I date. So that’s probably why I’ve been single all this while, until J. But question is, should I give him a chance and maybe just send him to a creative writing class? What would you do?

– Baguette – The Viet-Inspired Deli, B1-55, Raffles City Shopping Centre, Tel: +65 6336-0057, Open daily 10am-10pm.

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