Singapore. A city founded on cheap food, expensive beer, a personal duty to poke fun at others, and a dialect of English which makes even the Welsh cringe. Where thousands journey each year to taste chilli crab, chicken rice, and the finest four floors in Asia.
And now, thanks to the Singapore Adult Dodgeball Association of Singapore (SADAS), also home to the world’s greatest sporting event. Larger than the Standard Chartered Rugby 7s, the Barclays Singapore Open, the World Cup, and the separation of Malaysia and Singapore combined: The 1st Annual SADAS Dodgeball Championship. On June 17th, from 1 pm onwards, SADAS will host its inaugural SADAS event.
Taking place at the Canadian School on Bukit Tinggi Road, up to 20 teams of 8 players each will compete in the world’s most prestigious sport: dodgeball. The exclusive television rights have been awarded to ESPN8 – “the ocho”. Terms were not disclosed.
Ever since a bunch of opium addicted monks devised a game of tossing severed heads at each other, the game of Dodgeball has grown to become one of the most popular sports in the world; according to the ADAA (American Dodgeball Association of America). The rules are simple, 6 players per side, 6 rubber balls. If you get hit with a ball, you’re out. If you catch a ball, the other person is out and one of your own players comes back into the game.
SADAS is pleased to welcome Brewerkz as a lead sponsor of the event. Brewerkz General Manager Dan Durkin, who personally puts the fun in Cafe Iguana’s queso fundidos, and whose involvement in SADAS since its inception two weeks ago has been critical to the organisation’s survival, had this dish to offer: “The affiliation of Brewerkz to SADAS is one of honourability.
This truly is a validation of our core values, and the qualifications that are quantified by chuckin’ a ball at some strangers freakin’ head. We request, once and for all, that anyone who is uncomforted by our ball-tossing prowess head for the showers, before we un-accidentally rupture your skull.”
There are limited spaces remaining for interested teams. The registration fee is S$400 per team of 8 players. This team fee includes a minimum of 4 dodgeball games, and an all you can eat, all you can drink buffet put on by Brewerkz. Finally, there are key sponsorship positions available, if you are interested in reaching out to a group of Dodgeball enthusiasts. All interested parties please contact SADAS through email at email@example.com as soon as possible to confirm your participation.
And now, in the words of Cotton McKnight, “it’s time to separate the wheat from the chaff, the men from the boys, the awkwardly feminine from the possibly Canadian. DODGEBALL!”
– Bharat Chopra is co-founder of SADAS along with Adam Miller. Any people interested in playing, watching, or sponsoring SADAS for future matches, please contact them at firstname.lastname@example.org.