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Dear editor

You know, with all these continuous rainy days and all the other hindsights that take effect on a daily basis here in Singapore, why is it – and I believe I speak for many – that we are all being sucked into the pretense that everything is more costly and accepted here? Oh sure, we hear it’s because of the beautiful tropical weather year-round, the shopping, etc… But, in reality it’s none of the above and as the recently fired blogger Mr Brown pointed out (you should see about hiring that guy), cost of living gouging is rampant. Isn’t it about time we are levelled off in comparison to all the other countries in the region for whom their money goes a little further? – Anonymous

Have you been to Southern Thailand lately? We’re not paying for the beautiful weather and the shopping options so much as we’re paying to keep the idiots in the rest of the region out. They’re simple people not smart enough to figure out how to earn enough money to live in our kickass, non-zealot country.


Dear Think Magazine,

I live near an old cemetery that’s being dug up to make way for condos or something, then I read about some old rich guy’s grave that had been lost to the wilderness just being rediscovered, and I came up with a novel idea. I believe that we should be able to dig up graves for profit. Singapore has one of the richest populations of dead people in the world. So, why not tap in to the resources? We all know you can’t take it with you so why should we sit back and just let the gold and diamonds sit there? Some of you might argue that these treasures are property of the people that are dead but you can’t own anything when your dead, (except patents and copyrights).

You might think this idea is sacrilegious but it’s only sacrilegious if you believe in a religion. I don’t believe in anything so I don’t have a problem with this idea and I believe when it comes to free money so do a lot of you.

Governments rob graves all the time for profit so why shouldn’t we? The Smithsonian Institute and other museums are filled with all sorts of “ill gotten bootey” which I’m charged to go see. I believe we all should be able to dig up these graves for profit and do away with these places all together and turn them in to parks so people can go play in them instead. So go grab your shovels, there’s plenty for everyone! – Dan W. Blunt

Dan, don’t you think we know this letter is a wind-up? Seriously, except for some gold teeth, what do you think you’re going to find in these graves, the puzzle box from the DaVinci Code? Honestly folks, we don’t make these letters up like the other magazines (we’re talking about you “Your magazine is so cool, how do you do it?” fakers with your wanna-be clubbing magazine). Our readers are moonbat whacky enough to keep us entertained naturally, for years!