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Dear Think

I’ll be straightforward and to the point. I am a lazy office employee. I don’t like doing work and I avoid it at all costs. The only thing I like doing during work is reading the articles that you have on your website. What I want to request is that you or someone please update the archive. My only means of getting through my miserable day without shooting myself in the face is reading those articles. I must have read each article two or three times and I need some new stuff to read. I know my lazy ass is not worthy of a response but can you please get back to me? Thank you. – John Sims, [Job Title and Employer Omitted]

Oops, our mistake. We publish a brand new issue every month and we haven’t been adding them to the archive pages. We’ll get on updating that at once. If you haven’t been catching our print editions, you’ll have about 50 new articles to read while on the clock. I guess it’s safe to say that [employer omitted] won’t be coming out with any new products this year, eh?