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Dear Think,

Love your mag. I really trust your advice on all the hip places to go and things to do. So I was wondering if you can help me out. Please help me plan the ultimate (but not HUGELY expensive) birthday party weekend. I will be 25 on FEb. 15 and decided to save the weekend of Feb. 12-113 for a big birthday blowout, possibly some girl time, some boyfriend time and some “I’m gonna get drunk with all of Clarke Quay” time). I’m assuming this will be my last “happy” birthday to celebrate. Because after being able to rent cars without extra charges, what else is there to look forward to? – Thanks much for your great service!! – Valerie

Since this issue hits the streets (with a whole slew of live music venues you must check out), you aren’t going to have much time to heed our advice, but here it is: First, purchase a term life insurance policy (non-renewable). You should be able to get about $1 million in coverage for about $30/month. Next, get your hands on a 750ml bottle of Mr. & Mrs. T’s Bloody Mary Mix (Rich & Spicy, not the regular). Then, find an old Thighmaster, a male who looks kinda like your boyfriend in dim light and several ripe artichokes. If you put all of these things in one room on your birthday, and then just act the way Mother Nature intended, you’ll wake up the next day with no hangover, a new best-friend-for-life and – if you play your cards right – a lot of extra cash. Be sure and call us from your gold-plated cell phone and tell us how it went.


Just because you hate Jesus doesn’t mean that He doesn’t love you. While you are busy mocking the Savior, He is busy answering the prayers of the sick and the weak. Maybe if you took a little time away from your hedonist lifestyle and started reading the scripture, you would know that Jesus didn’t wear sun glasses or serve up cocktails. You would see that Jesus is peace, Jesus is light, Jesus is knowledge, Jesus is LORD. – Justin Nilsen

If you’re referring to the illustration for “Booze for the Holidays” [Issue 6, page 22], you’ll clearly see that we weren’t making fun of Jesus, but rather choosing to express our views of how he appears to us, and nobody owns the right to say how he looked. You write that the bible says Jesus didn’t wear sunglasses, but it also didn’t say he was a white guy either. But wasn’t it the Apostle Sinbad who said, “Yo, thank you Apollo Theater, you’ve been a great audience!” – which, when translated from ancient Aramaic means, “Thou shalt learn to take a joke.”

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