Ever since you fruit picking monkeys started poking us back with your sharp sticks you’ve made a right mess of the planet. Our weather control machines have made some progress in wiping out your excess population, (you think the Boxer day earthquake or Katrina was natural?), but we are scaling back the operation because it has caused a serious setback to our kippered fish supplies.
So that means we’re gonna have to keep relying on you hu-mans for taking care of us, which means you’re all gonna have to work harder. Take for example the monkeys I have working for me making this magazine right now, Jeffree, Keith, Darren, Cheryl, Luke and Ash. They put many hours a day into making this thing you hold in your hands, and every day more monkey marketing managers are realising that Think is quite popular amongst the Singaporean readers, as well as the foreign “red-haired” monkeys who come through this place.
But still, many of the advertisers don’t appreciate the differences in quality between the free magazines, and complain that our magazines are picked up too fast, so we three cats who run this place have two commands for you loyal readers:
Don’t pick up the magazine so fast, and boycott every business that doesn’t advertise in Think, because their failure to support Think means that there is less fish available for us. And we all know what that means; they’ll be the first monkeys we eliminate when THAT day comes.
– Mister Mimi, Corporate Cat