Letters answered by our least literate editor.
You have got to be THE dumbest people on earth. I’ve been reading your publication since your first volume and I’ve hated every issue. Last year’s Reader’s Choice Awards issue was a waste of paper and I pray every day you won’t do another one. Joe Bodia is a brainless prick without the slightest shred of taste. Your editors, especially the music girl Laura Encarnado (is that even a real name?!), sucks with more enthusiasm than an Orchard Towers whore.
I’m amazed with each issue. Your column “Lush Life” (cute name by the way, losers) would be much better served if it simply didn’t exist. I don’t think I’ve found a useful thing in it since reading the damn thing when you idiots introduced it. Volume 3, Issue 21 for example: You list Shanghai as a great place to party as well as salsa at Sentosa as well as World Battle of the Bands as cool things to check out.
Who finds and decides on these things? Don’t bother answering; it’s a rhetorical question. We all know it’s some blind inbred, randomly pulling press releases out of a big trashcan. I was impressed with your restaurant review article in that same issue with the header tag of “energy drinks”. Broth, a place where I wouldn’t even buy my dog dinner. Or how about the article on the history of the hamburger?
Now that’s a f*king great idea! I wish I thought of that. Then I’d be almost as retarded as you guys. Your editorial direction makes no sense, your columns suck and your design looks like you taught a monkey how to press CTRL + ALT and bang on a computer with a PVC pipe. And then there’s Benet, a.k.a. the worst Editor-in-Crap in the history of ink. I’m going to send you a nice straight-edge razor Jeff, for your readers, please, do the right thing. – Sincerely, Paul Vessa
Dear Paul, Thank you for the letter of encouragement. It’s people like you that inspire us. We’ve clearly supplied you with years of material to hate. Frankly, like all God’s creatures, we love you. And we want to help you. Please come to one of our court-ordered support groups for the truly jaded. You don’t have to speak – your satay-stained tank top will say it all. By the way, Paul, we still have your writing samples and resume on file, so we know where you live… We’ll send puppies.Read More